January 1, Bernie Madoff passes away at 82

Hello, America!

Infamous ‘Ponzi scheme’ criminal Bernie Madoff passed away due to kidney disease while serving his 150-year prison sentence. He was 82. May the Lord have mercy on him.

The FBI was reportedly accessing hundreds of hacked American computers in a bid to remove a malicious code left by hackers. While I’m thankful that the FBI is having the initiative, I’m not sure if this is ethical.

A new research found that people who regularly exercise have a lesser chance of contracting severe illness from the virus. Physically fit people are not only in good shape, but their immune system is also doing well. So peeps, exercise regularly!

Another study showed that making the middle seat of an airplane vacant reduces COVID-19 transmission by up to 57 percent. This should be enforced by all airlines for now.

Did you know that an average woman pops over 4,000 pimples in her lifetime? You read that right! Around eight out of 10 women in the US actually claimed that they pop their own pimples.

A customized male sex robot has swept a married female customer off her feet. The sex appeal of the male robot passes the standard of the married woman. She actually had three male sex robots and one real husband.

Have a good day,

Fraser Dixon

Sources

• Bernie Madoff, infamous Ponzi schemer, dead at 82
• The FBI might have gone ahead and fixed your Microsoft email server
• Regular Exercise May Help Protect Against Severe Covid
• COVID: Leaving seat open during flight reduces transmission by up to 57%
• Average woman pops 4,153 pimples in her lifetime — and pandemic is making things worse!
• Custom male sex robot with ‘strongest of jawlines’ leaves married female fan swooning