January 1, NFL Cheerleading SHAKEUP Nobody Saw Coming

Wyatt’s Take

• Miami Dolphins cheerleaders just dropped their 2026 uniforms and they’re coming after the Dallas Cowboys’ crown with serious firepower.
• They’re recruiting talent straight out of Texas — former Dallas Stars ice girls and Texas Tech cheerleaders are jumping ship to South Florida.
• This isn’t just about looks — it’s about business strategy, roster building, and a full-blown talent raid that has the NFL cheerleading world buzzing.

The Miami Dolphins cheerleaders just made a statement. And it’s one that should have Jerry Jones paying attention.

Friday night, the Dolphins unveiled their 2026 uniforms, and the buzz is real. This isn’t your typical offseason cheerleader refresh — this is a full-on talent raid and brand overhaul.

For years, the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders have been the gold standard. America’s Sweethearts. The most famous NFL cheerleading squad on the planet. But Miami just put the league on notice.

They hired a former Cowboys cheerleader executive. They’ve been scouting talent from Texas — yes, Texas — and building a roster that’s loaded with star power. One of their rookies, Sarah Parton, is a former Dallas Stars ice girl and a Cowboys fan who just signed with Miami. That’s like Nick Saban losing a five-star recruit to Lane Kiffin.

Then there’s Aaliyah Kikumoto, who cheered at Texas Tech and is now suiting up for the Dolphins. Miami’s front office is doing what smart NFL teams do — they’re going into enemy territory and taking the best talent available.

The uniforms are sharp. The social media game is dialed in. The weather in South Florida is perfect year-round. And now they’ve got the roster to back it up.

This is a watershed moment in NFL cheerleading. The Cowboys have had a monopoly for decades. But Miami is building something that could challenge that throne.

And here’s the thing — it’s not just about the looks or the outfits. It’s about professionalism, brand-building, and execution. The Dolphins are doing this the right way, and it’s working.

Meanwhile, summer is flying by. If you’re not out there making the most of it, you’re doing it wrong. Golf weekends. Pool days. Canoe trips. Whatever it takes. Don’t waste these next few weeks before football season kicks into gear.

And for the love of everything good, stop buying Halloween decorations in July. Costco is not your friend right now. That dopamine hit isn’t worth it. Halloween is three months away. Act like it.

Go to the lake. Go fishing. Turn on a sprinkler for your kids. Ride a bike. Watch the Tour de France and dream about French mountain real estate. Do literally anything that screams summer.

Because once football season starts, it’s over. Summer is gone. So respect it while you still can.

Speaking of the Tour, Tadej Pogacar had an incredible finish last night that you need to see if you missed it. The man is a machine.

Now, some housekeeping. An emailer got mad at me Friday for calling out stores that are already pushing Halloween and Christmas merchandise. He said my RESPECT SUMMER campaign is anti-capitalism and makes me socialist scum.

Let me be clear: I’ve been lecturing readers for years that it’s on us to stop buying this garbage in July. If you’re out there loading up on Halloween candy and decorations right now, you need to look in the mirror and ask yourself why.

This isn’t about being anti-business. This is about not being a sucker. Don’t let Costco’s marketing department hijack your brain. Think about summer. Live in the moment.

Alright, I’ve got a full day ahead. Screencaps Jr. wants to have some buddies over to swim. I made it clear — the boys who couldn’t respect the pool last time aren’t coming back. No way they’re ruining my Saturday.

Get out there, have a great day, and go RESPECT SUMMER.

Wyatt Matters

This cheerleading story might seem like fluff, but it’s really about something bigger — competition, excellence, and not settling for second place. Miami saw an opportunity and went all-in. They didn’t complain about Dallas having an advantage. They built a better product. That’s the American way. Whether it’s cheerleading, business, or life — you either compete or you get left behind. And right now, Miami is competing.